Some Mini Movie reviews inbound

So there are a couple movies I've watched recently that were worth noting.

First and foremost was:

    The Green Hornet (not lantern) starring Seth Rogen as himself (sarcasm), Jay Chou as Bruce L... I mean Kaito (aka the only character that is almost always likable in the film) and Cameron Diaz as the love interest that felt more like a name grab then a fully fleshed out human being.

Christoph Waltz from such infamy as "the bad guy from Inglorious Bastards" reprises his menacing although often more comical then frightening role here as Chudnofsky. And finally Tom Wilkinson and James Franco make more or less what resembles as "cameos" for the movie. Wilkinson, who plays the Hornet's father in the movie, James Reid and Franco, manning the silly selection as Danny Crystal Clear.

Casting aside, I enjoyed the movie. I went in with a lackluster and somewhat cynical attitude and came out pleasantly surprised/content.

- On the casting Front -

         While Diaz (as Lenore Case) was either a poor choice or a lazy one considering her screen time and usage. Rogen was a complete fail if you wanted the sixties Hornet. He just isn't much of an action star or at the very least isn't very competent at being believably and almost always plays the same role. I understand the great "Irony" in his role but I still felt slightly jarred by his performance.

   France and Wilkinson were supposedly in the move but considering how wasted and under utilized (just like Diaz) they were you'd be hard pressed to argue their presence. Unfortunately I'd like to toss Christoph Waltz's performance into this grouping too as his almost too funny to be taken serious villain felt too similar to the incompetent Green Hornet. Coincidentally however he exudes the only intelligence on the side of "villainy".

   Jay Chou clearly steals the movie from the onset of the commercials. His character essentially encompasses everything that the Green Hornet intends to do. And by doing so he is almost babysitting a full grown man whilst being shot at by a crew of very pissed off mobsters. 

   Funny thing is the major malfunction of this move is not even specifically the cast. It is the name. Granted had this been a movie with any other name no one would've reacted to it so acerbically. And in this very specific case that would have been a good thing because quite honestly once you tear away the whole iconic resemblance it becomes just another generic movie. Neither a good movie nor a terrible one. It would just be another comedy/superhero movie. Instead its a black sheep of Green Hornets everywhere.

- On the overall mood -

           Most of the movie tends to be repeating one note a lot like Seth Rogen's comedy. It does provide a few laughs throughout and the interaction between Kaito and Reid is generally lighthearted or fun enough to enjoy the oddball pairing. Unfortunately not even this can be said for the entire movie as an illogical three way love triangle forms out of nowhere between Kaito, Lenore Case, and Reid causing the two "superheroes" to be "superdolts".

  And then you have the action of which most is handled with a car or more specifically The Black Beauty. A lot of these scenes are bottled up towards the end of the movie and tend to be a great contrast different then the rest of the movie's slower or less intense moments. In the end what you have here is a story that lacks honest to god logic found between folks put into dangerous scenarios so don't expect a "Batman/Ironman/Green Lantern/Superman/Thor/etc" type of superhero. Neither should you expect a serious "Kickass/Watchmen/Defendor/etc" type of representation here.

  These superheroes are torn between whether they want to be a comedy or if they want to seriously fight crime. Thus they are more like their counterparts which spawned them IE the Batman television show.  (although I do know that technically Lone Ranger spawned them originally, this movie felt a little more asinine and less serious which was the point I was trying to make.)

- The Overall -

         So characters, science, nostalgia and plot aside the movie can be at times a fun mindless joyride that has many potholes. While I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who wasn't already somehow interested; for those diehard and less hard Seth Rogen fans or fans of sort of pointless and unmemorable movies and somewhat cheesy popcorn flicks, eat your heart out.

I think the only thing they got right here without a doubt is the Car, Kaito, and the outfits. Those three things were almost perfect (to me).

(2 stars of 5: A good enough movie most of the time but far from worth recommending and once its all over with you're more then likely to forget even watching it.)

-Rossini

(Just a side note; this is a mini review, a self contained thought that more or less won't leave this blog. I will periodically review movies throughout the year as I see them in no particular order.)

(Also, I haven't finished my 999 review yet. Sorry.)

I'll admit

This really wasn't how I expected to handle this blog. While presented with humble beginnings and wacky nonsensical gibberish about communicating with cats or what have you, now I find some of the nonsense distracting and a strain to do.

I've never been much of a "funny man" outside of the typical sarcastic or ironic remarks I am no comedian. Why I ever try I'll never know.

But I do apologize if some of my less then respectable side has to mesh with a sense of necessity to post something, anything.

Worse off, I thought I could write a story and post sections of it every other day. That was a big mistake. Something we're still feeling I'm afraid to say. And while granted it was a fun experiment I killed it off once the pressure and need for better more literate ranges were required to delivery in words what my mind held.

I know I hate these kind of posts too. I've made several of them over the year the blog has been around. It is never easy (at least for me) to explain what I feel is the right thing to do and what I feel compelled to do. That is most certainly why my readers receive either this, a review, or that gibberish we mentioned earlier.

Anyways I know I went five days without a post again. I had nothing to say. Nothing I wanted to say anyways.

But I may as well take this time to inform everyone what my intentions are in the coming weeks.

My plan moving forward here is to begin posting the last half (or whatever we call it) section of the original story, A Vacant World. Before I do that I'm sure you'll wish to hear where the editing is at.

Well I won't give you a percentage this time (only because I really didn't calculate it yet) I will say that I've began recently working on the unforeseen but aforementioned work. Something I'm sure will take many of you by surprise. Why you may ask did it take me a month to just begin working on editing something everyone is waiting for?

The answer is both simple and unfortunate. Quite honestly, I broke the unedited version (the blog version). Not intentionally but it just happened to work out that way. When I post the ending some of it may be new, odd, out of place, and or merely fractured without a seam to connect it.

Those would all be very good ways to describe the early work something I will refer to as Draft One. Draft One is readable and to some extent understandable. But it is lacking much detail and the aforementioned time I didn't really give it when it was required.

Which leads me to why I was so hesitant to jump editing from page one to page fifty. Truthfully I've known that the story was missing certain key elements that I planted but never fertilized. With my insisting on going back to "fix it" I figured now (a year late and a dollar short) I could retrofit everything all at once and hopefully congeal the entire project to where I originally thought/wanted/needed it to be.

I've actually mentioned this before so I do apologize for the repeat.

With the new enchantments and band aids I could now begin to tie certain loose strings, missing strings, or altogether torn strings together. Thus my reasoning for the convoluted means to and end regarding the editing process. It was extremely useful believe me.

Unto the most important news regarding this matter and hopefully the last time I will have to speak of it till it is finished and off my shoulders.

My (new) time frame jumped ever so slightly into the future. I know I sorta dropped the ball there but we're looking at a Mid July release now. Should be almost guaranteed accurate but if for some case it isn't exact it won't be far off. I'm almost ninety nine percent sure I will deliver it in July.

As for the "special edition" aka the redraft aka Draft Two?

I will be publishing that through Amazon more then likely sometime following the release of the story on this blog. I will update price/time in a future update but for now I haven't exchanged any plans yet. I'd like everyone to read it as it was not only a laboring pain but a more fleshed out vision. So don't expect it to cost more then a pittance or so (in case I'm not clearly thinking or writing right now read this: It won't cost much).

I hope everyone reading this, or reading some of this understands how hard I've tried to balance both worlds. I'm not asking for pity as this was a fun task, it was also nerve wrecking once I realized what I was doing. And I hope my time investment won't be an utter failure to those most loyal followers. It is my wish that this story can attract more folks and allow me to bring another (but less time consuming) story to the world soon.

As always, I thank you for reading;

-Rossini

Story Progress update Jun 20th

Editing went well over the past week/weekend. There was only one minor setback (which was my mistake initially to begin with). For some silly reason my off site copy was missing an entire segment. While the segment was only two or three pages I hadn't really taken into account these rogue pages. Thankfully I caught the error before it caused me any problems.

So barring anymore loose strings I'm now sitting pretty at about the halfway mark. I think that because some of the newer writing (stuff never published) is more polished this next fifty percent will go much quicker. The only thing I'll have to do next then is just fix some marked errors and we should be ready to go soon.

Being honest for a moment, I'm pretty happy thus far with the new script. I think it really ties some of the more obscure and abrupt segments closer together. Alongside many new or improved details I think this transformation from short to short blog breaks to a little more novelization has done the story a world of justice. Granted that is just my opinion. The work overall will more then likely be far from perfect but I do have some confidence that everyone will enjoy it to some extent.

- Rossini

(As to where the 999 review is: Coming soon. This was game is a pita due to so many endings and I don't want to review it till I've seen them all. Hopefully I'll deliver it this week!)

I feel bad for Vancouver

I'm no British Columbia resident but I do feel for them on this of the many somber days ahead.

Their NHL Canucks team dropped the ball (puck) last night in grand disappointing fashion. After what appeared to be a dominating open to the series a couple weeks back slowly devolved into a nightmare for Vancouver on the road. Allowing some seventeen goals Luongo was back at home for game seven waiting for his chance to finally put everything to rest.

But it didn't happen. The Bruins stormed the zones and crushed Van with a relentless physical assault. With Tim Thomas guarding the net behind them and a wall of would be superheroes Boston now will hoist championship flags since 72.

But one thing lingers in my mind. Why does Vancouver or more importantly Luongo shrink in big games? I mean we just got done with the whole Lebron fiasco and now one of the most notorious (that I know of) choke artist in the NHL does it again. This time in game SEVEN of the final game of the year.

But I will not harp on the man. He tried. They all tried. And while I am far from a Canucks fan I must feel something, some sort of empathy to watch a city so full of energy and ready to celebrate after a seemingly eternity to be turned away yet again. It happened in 94 and now it happens in 2011.

It is simply amazing that the president cup's winner and all around favorite to win will go into the off season one game away but so full of questions and doubt especially at the Goalie position.

And because of their unfortunate play some handful of drunken idiotic fans will further disgrace their fall with what can only be described as heartless, juvenile, and in poor sportsmanship. Losing sucks but trashing the city because of a loss no matter the size is down right unacceptable. Destroying public property, looting, and causing general mayhem over a GAME is most assuredly the most stupid thing you can possible do. And for this I hope those rioters get their just due reward.

While I will never root for you Canada (I mean from a hockey standpoint, otherwise good looking out) and you may have you're own private quarrels amongst yourself that I don't quite understand, I do quite get what you may be feeling today, hell the year for that matter. So chin up Nucks, as they say in Chicago, LA, NY (when they don't win) or anywhere when things look the bleakest...

There's always next year.

-Rossini

(Course the pessimist would include [To choke] at the end.)

P.S. Congrats Boston, you earned it. Just saying in case I went too Van Van and forgot to give credit where credit is due. Oh and thanks for an entertaining series.

Life sucks

And everyday I wake up wishing I was paid millions to prance around in designer clothes advertising (INSERT RANDOM PRODUCT HERE) with my genetically perfect body. Shit why was I born to such poor lottery?

Fuel to the fire I am like the coal and decomposed,
Worthless to those that rose
From the depths of the great oppression
I am nothing but a succession
A chain link in a very long winding drive
From here to there I am part of this hive

But my masters proclaim
I am but of no fame
I am worthless trash
For I am without cash

And I play only one game
That is of life which is spectacularly lame
You've drawn my hate that much is clear
What you've said and done will be held dear
Of which thus far has been naught
This whiny baby cheat has been caught

So much for life
It is succinct and rife

With men so cocky as you

I am no poet. If one comes by and reads this understand I did this only because I was bored and not with any structural grace. For that matter I have no grace.

By now everyone in America has heard the words utterly by the great King.

 "All the people that were rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day, they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal. But they have to get back to the real world at some point.”   - Lebron James

Just like how I responded to the Meddenhall nonsense a while back I do so now to you Lebron James (and it hurts me not to use a nickname).

Here is the skinny my friend. Imagine for a moment you were not you. Imagine a lottery (not the NBA one) where each pick and strand would grant you different elements and attributes. Imagine for a moment you didn't receive the winning pick at birth and you were nothing more then a "loser lower class peasant". Now imagine if a man of great wealth told you,

"Stop churning the coal you fool! I am of warm enough lest my money be dripped through these infernal outlets"

And on command you do as demanded. Shut down the coal line and let those that receive their blessing freeze without heat. But you see this is fair. One man may demand more heat. Another may less. So on and so forth.

To offer every person individual amounts why you'd be bankrupt. And then who'd supply the heat?

I will tell you. No one.

                                                               Melodramatic much?

James, you brought this fire upon yourself. Every man, woman, and child could see the trebuchets loading their ammunition. You did nothing NOTHING to deflect or avoid their trajectory. And once they hit like a cannonball tearing down the mighty walls of your self proclaimed kingdom you cry foul.

First you quit in Ohio. Then you, your friends, your agent, your family all quit logic when you held a press conference for your impending "Decision". Right afterwards the three of you dingbats figure it a good idea to have a championship celebration before setting a foot on the same floor together.

And now you've failed TWICE to down the wings of your haters and you have the arrogance to actually think you have any right to argue? Your chance was lost on the court. That was your opportunity. You failed. Shut up.

I'm not a petty muskrat. I do not question your decision to leave Cleveland as I am no Ohio resident. I don't even like basketball. Actually I kinda hate it. But nothing brings me more joy then to watch your comeuppance served upon a wreckage where a throne once sat. You are not a "superstar". You are not even human. You are a disgrace. A sociopath with no forethought, afterthought, and absolutely no empathy.

And while I leave no doubt that you will eventually win a title I question if you deserve one. After all, all the showboating, mocking, and general disrespect you show your "fans" with such ill tweets it makes me wonder why you even bother. Why life sucks doesn't it?

You said so yourself. You just made sure to mention how happy you were with yours. Well then I can feign life too. See its great. Everything is great. The sun, the moon, the stars, ALL GREAT!

Have a nice summer Lebron. A nice long summer full of deflections and lack of comprehension to the yet another shit storm you've unleashed. A hornet nest buzzing from top to bottom filled with assholes just gnawing at the bit to show you much life really sucks.

Good luck next year my friend. I hope for your sake you win one before the little gnats get you first.

Unapologetic and loving it,

- Rossini


P.S. I'm fine where I'm at James. Thanks for asking.

P.P.S I've stopped being stupid and reopened my feeds. While I hope everyone still enjoys my blog, feeds will be just as good I suppose. Thank you and good night.

Just dropping this update here (story update)

With certain things behind us for now I wanted to again update everyone on how the editing process thus far has gone. While never perfect and it has been quite time consuming, I've brought myself to finish up to segment five this past week. I have about five more to go (ignoring the fact that those five are a handful pages longer) so I wouldn't quite say I'm at 50% yet. Truthfully I'm thinking somewhere hovering in or around thirty right now.

I'm hoping to have more info for you next week, possibly even a date, possibly, but until then as always thanks for reading and enjoy your weekend.

And don't read too far into some of my posting. I'm a bit of an irony and honestly that is where I'm best at.

-Rossini

e3 '11 (continued and finished)

       Typically in the past I've disliked Sony's press conferences. It would feel as if they'd come unto stage, dance around to the music and applause and then unveil their grand old narcissistic personality while showing numbers that destroy the other consoles and quickly up the ante with plans of world domination. Then the PS3 came out flat as a day old soda and they were knocked down a peg until a comedian pulled their asses out of the fire and all of a sudden everyone's happy. Of course then a fleet of hackers jacked their systems stealing millions upon millions of account information...

       So I guess after all that you too would be humbled enough for me to sit through an entire conference without throwing up.

     OK! Once past all those somewhat hyperbolic statements let us examine if Sony has won back my heart or is currently residing in the same doghouse as Microsoft is.


   pros:

     + Out of all the major shows I personally think Sony has the best EXCLUSIVE lineup. Where as most of Microsoft's was in between showing third party galore Sony took out the big guns.

     + The Vita is a sleek unit that may bend some knees come winter.

     + Not as much throat shoving this year (or as much as MS) as there was last year with their purple snow cones. A good thing me thinks.

cons:

     - I would be amiss if I didn't subtract Sony for rehashes and added numbers to their titles. Shit there are TWO Uncharted games coming out with much of the same engine/game play. And no I personally thought the touchscreen usage in Uncharted was a big fat fucking joke. Save for picking up weapons/reloading. The rest was just gratuitous. Granted this isn't what the tech was built for per say.

     - While the Vita is great at what it does I do now have to wonder especially in the face of two very important things if the system will warrant a purchase for someone who doesn't care a great deal about portable games.

      1. PSP to PS2 ports

      2. PSP to PS3 ports

     With so many games moving from the old system it could be a possibility that these newer major titles will be easily playable in the future on a PS3/PS4. Albeit without a touchscreen/competent gyroscope (unless the PS4 has them). Something to keep an eye on.

   - Still not sold on the Move product line. Granted it is better then the Kinect but then so is a cheeseburger.


              My biased opinions aside I thought Sony had a solid to stellar showing with minimal surprise. The Vita certainly will move product but should be interesting how well. Either way I enjoyed the conference for the most part and am looking forward to some of their games in the following months.

                               Grade: C+

AKA the new Sony of numbers. Just kidding.

The first fifteen minutes was a trip down nostalgia lane dedicated to the 25th anniversary of Zelda. All good interesting stuff except it does sorta resonate what Nintendo has been doing for years. And that is rererererereleasing the same game multiple times in multiple different outlets. Again not a bad thing but can be easily tiring after a while. And of course the trolls will eat it up...

Look, lets ignore the first forty minutes of press conference and jump right into the big thing.

For me, this is a make or break promise from Nintendo. Certainly financially things aren't that bleak but after the drought of GREAT Wii games I'm holding optimism here. It'll be a (possibly) great system that will finally douse the Wii graphics in flames where they belonged but I'm truly worried about longevity here. This thing won't be twice as powerful as a Xbox/PS3. How will that affect its grab for hardcore fans?

And most importantly what about its ludicrous controller? Is it a good idea or a bad idea for such fundamental changes for the home based console? And wasn't this the same question asked five years ago?

I don't really have any pros and cons for Nintendo's show because quite frankly it is based mostly on prospect. I don't know anything about the power/games other then they will supposedly be there. Granted I can finally comment on the 3DS quickly becoming a console worth owning overnight with a slew of good content coming. Otherwise what else is there to talk about but the prospect of what may or may not be a good thing? (Wii U) and with no release date we may as well wait till next E3 to talk about it. I mean at this point it is all speculation and rabid dreams.

              Grade: C+ (or possibly anything worse depending on the functionality of the Wii U)

So as I finish my E3 rap it is necessary for me to point over to UBISOFT for capping my thoughts perfectly with their Farcry 3 trailer.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -Albert Einstein

I've been in much of a funk these past days. E3 was brought to me at a depressing time and in return I tore it up like a petulant observer. There was more then my annoyed grunts and cynical expressions to found in LA. Actually in the right eyes there is much to be happy about.

But on the opposite spectrum where I currently sit, things certainly appear to be the same as they were five years ago. Can you believe that four years ago Assassin's Creed came out as a new IP and within the years we've received at least five new versions of it? Infamous 2 was just released and in two years it will be on its third. It is amazing how quick repetition can occur in the Video Game world. Soon we'll be playing Halo 6 (finish the pie) and Silent Hill 30 (arrest the oblong head).

I don't know. Now I'm just rambling like a moron; like those that I sought to separate myself from. Perhaps I am the moron.

Quite frankly all my grades are harsh. If you want pretty little things then just bump them up each two notches. I'm just sick of it right now and if you'll excuse me I need to go lie down and forgot the madness for another year.

-Rossini

e3 '11 (part 1)

Looking back a year ago... E3 was a major disappointment through and through. Granted I don't even remember everything but what I do remember blogging about was held at years end as a collective "meh". I think the only good things that came out of E3 last year was Donkey Kong and Deadspace 2. Or so I recall anyways.

So unlike many years previous I entered the 2011 trade-show with much negativity. As you may well know I am a cynical man trapped inside a optimistic body. That is to say that my actions and speech may say one thing but my mind says another thing.

But let us stop beating around the bush and enter each press conference one by and one and examine them with few words or less.

The show starts and to no ones surprise we start with the money maker. Call of fricken duty 7(254894609insert random sequel number here). Nice enough looking game. Sure I can ignore the whole destruction of infinity ward and watch this and be without comment. Yep. Two thumbs way up for you Activision. Way up there.

But I'm not really the target audience for this game now am I? I've played and enjoyed four of them thus far and they're all spectactular linear first person shooters with immense amount of glossing and followers. Make no mistake I do enjoy the series but it isn't my go to game. And while the destruction of the world I know is rather topical I do often wonder where they will go from here. How exactly do you top Call of duty 7's insane story?

I don't know but I bet next E3 we will.

And the rest barring Mass Effect 3 (AKA my new favorite video game series ever) was seemingly a Kinect info-commercial. I might be too harsh on Microsoft for lording their six year old (and even older technology) console over us for another year, two, three, possibly four more years but at the very least I expect something more from you then:

- Avatars (Wow! so lifelike! And yes I know this is more from the last few years or last year more specifically but the magnitude of anger still resonates the same)
- New XMB (OMG! Another update for the menus!)
- Kinect commercials (I can has cheezeburger?)
- Whoring big name titles like COD/Halo/Gears of War. Congratulations. You make solid games. You Export solid games. You play solid games. Trolls of internet should begin to collapse upon MS for this. It really is no different then Nintendo at this point with their nostalgia line up. But that's the power of hypocrisy and internet warfare for you. Not that online multiplayer isn't fun but sometimes things are one iota short from ridiculous.


                Grade: D+



Not finished and didn't want to cut this short but am amidst a storm and don't really wish to lose power and my train of thought at the moment. I'll have comments up for Sony/Nintendo tomorrow. Till then thanks for reading my rants.

-Rossini

Pooling the information I've absorbed over the past two days of e3. Will post opinions soon.

A recap of what occured last week

          I apologize for that week long lack of posts and two missing reviews. So a quick bulletin recap for your reading and updating pleasure. Plus an update on the ever elusive story. (bolded for ease of review if it is all you wish to find)

- So on Friday of last week I was about halfway through writing the review thinking I'd finish it easily by Sunday. Truth was that I actually hadn't totally finished the game and wanted another moment to do so before concluding my report. Naturally over the holiday I was busy with family and other lovely time consuming events and as the hours on the clock quickly peeled into days on the calendar I realized I wasn't going to make my quota. Thus I figured I'd do my best job possible, pick up the review as best I could (albeit I forgot photos) and post it this past Friday.

- Unfortunately this I was supposed to be posting a 999 (ds) review on the same day and honestly I haven't even began to write that one. Truthfully it takes me anywhere from two to three days to get a nice detailed and somewhat coherent review written. So as this being a "bonus" it will be pushed back until ASAP. Perhaps this week perhaps the week following. As soon as I know I will let you know. Quick impressions are however have me giddy and terrified. Its something special.

- Which lends me perfectly back into my L.A. Noire review for a brief moment. I found a passage to be unruly or not quite as intended. When I wrote

"Both unhurried and methodical in its delivery and presentation the game serves up a bit that will easily polarize two groups of people; those who “get it” and those that don’t."

 What I meant to say was:

"Both unhurried and methodical in its delivery and presentation the game serves up a bit that will easily polarize two groups of people; those who enjoy and relish its meticulously calculated and plodding build up, and those who simply don't"

As you can see by the example and edits to the original document I did not want to fire or throw feces at anyone for not "getting it". Like a cult classic, many things many times cannot always be enjoyed by all. I hope I didn't offend anyone with those remarks and will continue to strive forward away from this backwater or pseudo elitist mentality (not that it ever was, just perhaps came off so). P.s. It went up on Amazon the other day if you were looking for it. (Thanks!)

- Finally an update on the editing. While as I mentioned not much took place last weekend, much more is done then it was last time I gave an update. I'd say roughly twenty percent is now completed with a lot of the work rapidly nearing the work not yet seen. All around good news.



              My apologies about the absent review (999) and stumbling updates. My intention for this blog was never personal or irrelevant things but to explain why, I must detail certain key elements. Things I do or don't wish to speak about are sometimes as relevant as my intentions and thus why I felt compelled to post this update. I wanted to remind and make sure everyone reading will not succumb to doubt as I certainly have failed you once already. To this I am sorry. Last year was a derailing event and it cost me readers, time spent, and otherwise disappointment. I can never promise anything but I do strongly consider myself a promise keeper. And while what I have to say won't always interest or adhere I always do try to consistently bring myself and this blog forward even if it does shine a black light on the events.

It is my responsibility to always do so as any less would be disrespectful and dishonest. I've got such high hopes (not high high high, but a mutual respect sorta hope. A dash of optimism if you will) for my future writings and present endeavors that I hope and wish many of you will follow along with me as I continue to create new and hopefully interesting things.

But time will only tell how well I do or if I fail miserably in delivering these high hopes. I just hope for the sake of my readers I do the best job I am capable as that is all I can ever ask for.

As always, thank you for continuing with me as I hope to very soon offer my first published work and look forward to penning a new tale.

-Rossini

(p.s. I also apologize for any glaring grammatical or spelling errors or missing words in this post. Its rather early and I'm rather still tired.)

Murder by starlight, a tale of Noir (LA NOIRE - NO SPOILERS)

1947, Las Angeles…

I’ve seen it all from the locales in L.A. Murder, rape, and conspiracy is nothing new. Their mouths tell me no but their behavior says otherwise. These nervous fidgets and constant struggles to sit still seem to be indicative of a liar. And I don’t really care much for liars.

For every case I build there is new evidence to be found. Some discovered in the pooling blood; others from the mouths of dirty frauds. Before any connections or assumptions can be made I must first assimilate these clues. Poke holes into these convoluted spider webs of lies and deceit tearing through the strands one at a time. Rest assured I will close the case and bring the killers to justice so help me god.

L.A. Noire is thick in atmosphere and narrative. The former being greatly seen but seldom used while that latter being watched and enjoyed but often times without control. This is not really a game but rather more a visual novel mixed with an adventure game and a dash of action/driving.

     And unlike most free roaming games – especially those indicative of a Rockstar release – there is not really much to see or do outside of the main missions and side distractions (disturbances radioed in). Which may at first be seen as backtracking instead of advancing that genre but the truth evidently is in the blood.

     Noire works best when Detective Phelps is investigating and interrogating rather then shooting and driving. Not that either are incongruous with the storyline or game-play but both are with their flaws. Shooting for example is pretty standard and mostly uneventful cover based presentation. Unlike most third person games these days this one had the audacity to confiscate the ability to swap shoulders with the camera forcing the player to enter cover to do so if necessary.

     Driving on the other hand is rather solid but notoriously humdrum (just as it can be in real life). Oddly missing is the ability or selective intelligence from the game to flicker turn signals at an intersection often leaving driving realistically a mild let-down as virtual passersby tend to air out their horns and try their best to occasionally hit or cut you off. Outside of that small annoyance I thought driving in L.A. Noire was better then found in GTA: 4. Of course one minor problem I did have was how sensitive the sticks were as a tiny nudge can send you flying into a lane three rows over.

     But onto the meat and potatoes… By now I’ll just assume anyone even remotely interested in this game will have in some capacity heard the ravings over the “real life faces”. At first the technology will be marveled at as the thirty two camera delivery creates almost perfect recreations of every wrinkle and crease drawn across the actors/actresses face but as the game progresses you see just how necessary this tool was to help convey one simple message. L.A. Noire would be absolutely inconceivable without total facial recognition.

Because so much is put onto the broad streaks of one’s marred wrinkled face playing as Det. Phelps you must decipher which gesture is a tell and which is the truth. In the beginning this may seem rather simple as most practically jump right out at you heeding neither subtlety nor realism but as the case files grow and the work becomes tougher so too does the reading of facial squints. While so much of the read is hinging upon how well you may or may not do in a specific crime scene/interrogation none will impede upon your overall progress but rather how well you ultimately perform. There are no game overs from a blown call or a missed examination. You will eventually solve an investigation no matter what. Even if you “skip” the action segments.

     Pros:

    +     Faithfully recreated 1947 LA

    +     Excellent story both delivered in small doses and in a large arc

    +     Decent amount of things to do in the city (secret cars, film reels, locations), great replay value on the cases you mess up or things you might have missed

    +     A superb cast that is both articulate and believable

    +     Investigations are simple in execution but enjoyable to explore and construct theories of whodunit.

    +     Interrogations are a well fought battle that offers its reward only to those with a skillful eye

    +     Captivating Music

     Cons:

-         Action segments can be a little dry or uninvolving often offering little more then a distraction to the main draw of the game.

-         Driving can be a pursuit of leisure or a frightening nightmare depending on your personal mood. Side note: All driving can be essentially skipped by letting your partner drive and “skipping” the action segments

-         The game peaks through its middle sections and never again truly reaches this level of greatness.

-         Generally speaking this may easily be referred to as a one and done type game for most players

     L.A. Noire sure is something. Both unhurried and methodical in its delivery and presentation the game serves up a bit that will easily polarize two groups of people;  those who enjoy and relish its meticulously calculated and plodding build up and those who simply don't. Because it is not quickened or sharp and its action is dull and diluted by many things I would never suggest anyone with a short attention span or lack of interest to go wondering through the streets of post war LA.

     If you enter expecting much more then a strict linear but tightly written narrative then you’ll certainly be disappointed. There is action in the form of car chases, foot chases, brawls, and gun fights but none are very significant and are seemingly scattered hours between. The game dwells in the basement of a locker. Clues and lies rolled up and sliced through and through. If you don’t like reading, absorbing information, and deciphering many different things in many different circumstances then you need not apply.

     As such my final review score is based on a great many things. But to offer help in deciding for those in between souls I’ve added a +/- scale for different elements and will start at a 5/10 (or 50/100). I hope it helps in your decision.

     5/10

+ 10 if you enjoy mystery and intrigue with a strong sequence of events

-         5 if you enjoy action

+ 10 if you enjoy watching and dissecting the behavior of other humans

      -    5 if you enjoy mowing down innocent civilians in cars/with guns

+ 10 if you like combing through a room with a mouse click/button press in vain of an adventure game

-         5 if you enjoy destroying a room with a grenade launcher

+ 5 if you enjoy monotonous and sometimes grueling work in your video games

-         5 if you hate (or sometimes hate) such things

+ 5 if you enjoy (the thought of) driving leisurely (or frantically) through a faithfully recreated 1947 L.A.

-         5 if you enjoy free roam games and having multiple things to do at any given time

Speaking biasedly for a moment I loved every minute of L.A. Noire. Every turn around the corner, every face and gruesome scene melded into one giant bowl of spectacular entertainment for me. It was repetitive at times. It was dragging at times. But I never found it to be boring.

My experience will not be the same as yours so my overall grade of 90/10 (4.5 Amazon Stars) will not speak directly to each and every possible patron of Team Bondi. I’d say honestly if the interest is mild then a 70-75 out of a 100 would ultimately be most in said customer’s range.

But for those truly enthralled by attention to detail and story it doesn’t get much better then L.A. Noire.

And that’s no lie.

*One minor hitch to my otherwise brilliantly bad plan is that Amazon has yet to post my review. So this is sort of a instant look. However as always, when the review does surface please toss me a thumbs up if you enjoyed it and a thumbs down if you didn't. Thanks a million,
 

-Rossini

*Minor update: it is now up on Amazon*

Technical Difficulties

Been under the weather/wire and was truly grueling these past five or six days and completely forgot about upping my review. Within the next twelve to sixteen hours it should be up for sure. Probably in a short moment. Will post again very shortly.

Thanks for staying with me during this inconvenience.

-Rossini